The curious side of me can’t help asking the source of the chase. Or the push.
Some source from a place of interest and natural growth. Others from a place of need. The third is the one I find most interesting: sourcing from a place of anger and frustration.
Anger and frustration…such interesting fertilizer for the present. They fertilize our stories. Our baggage. Our “Why me” moments.
It’s so easy to walk down memory lane. And yes, that walk is just as interesting when your lane is covered with flowers as it is with brambles.
So why is it that some walk their lane, some practically skip down theirs, and some are too busy fertilizing to notice what’s up?
The kicker is that some just get stuck.
The next step appears too hard, so they opt to stay.
The next step isn’t clear, so they opt to stay.
Or they actually take the next step, and the next, but never admit that they left a key part of themselves at that fork.
And that’s what makes junctions so interesting. You ultimately have to choose.
Left. Right. Forward. Back. Stay.
The dirty little secret is that no one is ever really sure which choice is right.
Even those who power on, believing themselves to be so strong and brave and knowledgeable, are just spirits one step ahead of their fears.
Sometimes their steps land on the golden brick road. And other times they land in quicksand.
I’ve powered through many junctions. I’ve been labeled brave and fearless and a free spirit.
The reality: I made what I could out of many situations, and I spent many years struggling to outmaneuver my memories.
What if this or that hadn’t happened to me?
What if I hadn’t taken that direction?
Why couldn’t I just…?
A lot of what ifs have littered my path.
Six years ago that path hit a major junction.
I had the degrees, the intelligence, the ‘bright future’ and ‘spirit’ that so many had told me about. I had been studiously following someone else’s path for three years as I prepped, applied and completed my MBA at a top 10 global program. And there I was, smack dab in the middle of the recession, with naer a job to be found, suffocating in student debt, and completely sapped of wanting anything to do with this path.
I was seething with anger and frustration, and busy fertilizing a whole hell of a lot of stories.
This wasn’t my first rodeo (even if it was the scariest), so I had to wait for the snap of my inner animal. And one day it did.
This time the snap was a roar, and it came with an Aha!
I chose better over bitter.
Starting with one thought, I chose better. Thoughts turned to actions. Actions turned to words. And words morphed in to an energy that continues to grow today.
I chose a better future for me. This time I chose to make it MY future. I chose to make my own path. And that path inspired this project, Inspired Grit.
I’ve never looked back and mourned. I have looked back and recognized and celebrated the lessons from my periods of over-fertilizing my path.
And every day I choose better over bitter. Thoughts, words, actions, energy, attention, emotions, friends, work, etc.
Slowly, over time, that choice has become more natural.
I’m proof it’s possible.