Even my oracle pull in early October confirmed my last 6 months of reflection.
Some have asked if I’ve been sick. Others if I was even working on Inspired Grit anymore. And still others wondered if my new farm in western Uganda was absorbing all my energy.
Yes, it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me.
In the past 6 months I’ve taken an intentional sabbatical from blogging & Inspired Grit. I was becoming desperate for clarity and motivation in my own life and calendar.
In that time I’ve:
- Wandered the streets of Valencia, Spain on a creative retreat
- Invested in my personal growth with an 8-week MBSR course, Mindfulness Meditation training, and Barre, Yin + Pre/Postnatal Yoga training (ca. 250+ hrs of training and counting)
- Disconnected from anything online for long stretches. Instead of whinging about the poor internet connection here in Uganda, I simply unplugged and recharged. (Pretty sure I missed most birthdays, so if one was yours, now you know why!)
- Read books that have sat on my shelf and on my Kindle for far longer than I care to admit
- Purged inboxes and email subscriptions (Unroll.me = awesome!)
- Released 2 companies I had started because my desires had changed
- Fought 4 infections (my body was clearly NOT aligned with my ego)
- Spent time on my farm in western Uganda planting, harvesting, and savoring stunning views and silence next to my five dogs. My four rescue donkeys arrive soon too! Saving these four from the Chinese…I’ve become a bit of a donkey activist! 🙂
The list continues. I haven’t been bored.
Throughout it all I’ve been intrigued by two questions. Each has challenged my ego.
- What do I desire? What do I want, really, really want, in this short life of mine? Feelings. Physical objects and health. I believe that if I can name them and really feel those desires, I can make them happen. Manifestation 101 right here.
- What do I believe? When all is said and done, when I’m pushed up against a corner, what do I believe in? And how far am I willing to rely on and stand up for these beliefs? And what, if I’m completely honest with myself, do really not believe? What don’t I care about? (Hint: we’re humans. We can’t care about everything because it splatters our energy. Becoming super clear on what I really believe in and will expend energy on has immediately purged my dream and to do lists.)
I wonder how many of you are just like me. I’m willing to bet a lot of you are because I meet you every day, both online and in person.
Do you chase dreams from your past without really understanding why or being able to see how these slot in to your present life? (Forget the future…just focus on the present for now.)
If really pushed, are you willing to admit that some of those dreams are completely draining? There is no spark, no desire. They don’t even align with your current life and beliefs. In fact, you don’t even remember when you started wanting that thing, let alone why. (Psst…I’m willing to bet you have some stubbornly hanging on to your dream list out of fear.)
How many would also be relieved to just walk away? Give up. Quit. Release. Let go. Pick whatever word you wish to get to clarity.
I didn’t know how cluttered my energy until I started this journey. I work with energy, mindset and motivation and I couldn’t even motivate myself anymore! The ultimate kicker: my body had 4 infections in 5 months at the beginning of this year. I don’t get sick like that. Period. That many antibiotics and ‘lost’ productivity were the ultimate wake up call to me.
My journey isn’t over. I don’t have an answer. But I do have a new energy and focus. I’ve shed a lot to get here and I have a ways to go.
As the year comes to a close, I’d love more people to play with their own desires and beliefs. It’s the perfect time of year to clean house. Get rid of what energetically doesn’t light you up. Focus on what refuels your fire.
Need help? I’m working on a quick e-course around just this topic. It should be released in a few weeks, just in time for some pre-holiday clearing.
Make time for what you really, truly, honestly, openly want. Say goodbye to what is leftover from your past.
Let’s bring 2017 to a brilliant, clean close and launch 2018 in style!
With Grit, Grace & Gratitude,